Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Back to Sleep ...

I woke up about an hour ago (1 or 1:30am) and couldn't go back to sleep ... partially because I have an extremely itchy mosquito bite right on my very LARGE pregnant belly ... but also b/c I was feeling so burdened by the thought of the physical pain that I know is headed my way in just a few weeks. I've read several books on childbirth and I stop to "interview" all the mom's I know on what their experience was like, how they dealt with pain, etc. Women have been doing this since the beginning of time, so what is the big deal? Even my own mother and husband who know me so well seem so confident that I will deal with it just fine ... but even so ... in the quiet of the night when I don't have other things to occupy my thoughts, the fear starts to creep in. After an hour of sitting at the computer, reading facebook, blog posts, and even googleing "childbirth pain" :) ... still very restless. The clock is ticking and with every 15 minutes that passes I am thinking, "I really need to get back to sleep or tomorrow I will be worthless!"

Then I stumble across a blog post (http://brooksincorporated.blogspot.com/) ... that leads me to looking up a scripture ... which leads to another scripture ... and in just minutes I am filled with comfort from head to toe, finger tip to finger tip, by the promises of my Creator ... the one who REALLY knows me (and happens to already know exactly what that day will be like).

"In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering."
Hebrews 2:10

So if Christ was made perfect through suffering, and I want to be like Christ, why would I fear any kind of suffering? Could it be, that this day is not just the beginning of a precious new life, but an opportunity for a new mom to join with Christ in suffering in order to experience the perfect plan of our Creator? Could it be, that I might actually feel excitement for this kind of suffering? (OK - not completely at THAT point just yet :)

Father, Creator ... thank you so much for the comforting promises of your word ... like a Father does for his child - when we call out, you always provide exactly what we need.

"For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."
Psalm 30:5

Back to sleep ...

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3 comments:

  1. girl....! If you can run a marathon...you can deliver a baby! plus.....can you say EPIDURAL!? love you, I totally get that it is the fear of the unknown, you will do wonderful!

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  2. Hey! I just found your blog from your facebook page. How fun! I am so excited to read about all the new fun things that come with a new baby and new parents. We can laugh at ourselves, can't we? I am an anesthesiologist, so I know pain. Plus, I've been through labor now, so I really know what it's like. Shoot me an message on facebook if you want to talk about anything! I'm looking forward to reading your bloggings. :) Blessings!

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  3. Wow Katie i am sorry your mind is being filled with doubt! I will be praying for that. you are a strong woman and you can do it. you will be a good mother and all will go well. praying!

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